There are a lot of considerations that go into a custody decision. I’d be surprised if this were the only reason.  The story itself caught my eye because, surprise! I found myself in the same situation not that long ago, the difference being that since I had agreed to the homeschooling (even though I no longer do), a judge would most likely not side with my position.

But wait, this isn’t the funny part. That was the boring typical part. Here’s where I started laughing.

I would not offend the bought and sold fascists who regulate the health industry in America by offering medical advice,

Wait for it. You just know with a lead-up like that that what he is about to do is…offer medical advice.

Further down…

Fasting is recommended to be done for a few days, during which time only juice or water should be drunk and some herbal laxatives. An appendix problem is much more serious if there has been a perforation. If there has been an infection caused by a perforated appendix, antibiotic-like herbs should be taken in very heavy doses. Purple coneflower (or echinacea, echinacea purpurea, pallida and angustifolia) and garlic (Allium sativum) are recommended. A light massage of the abdomen would help at this point, but it should only be done with great care, if there is inflammation.

This guy is actually prescribing enemas and herbs for a perforated appendix?

The mind boggles. I sincerely hope that no deluded parent is stupid enough to try these “remedies” on a sick child. That would take this from laughable to criminal.

There’s a cool aggregation of related posts over at Scientific Blogging:

Personally, I have the science community (and by extension, CD) to thank for getting me started out of fundamentalist xianity. I used to be a young-earth creationist for many years. Then I found talkorigins.org. I wanted to get an idea of what “the enemy” believed. I soon found that many of the arguments I had learned and used against evolution were based on misconceptions, misunderstandings, and sometimes good old-fasioned lies. It took me about six months to get to the point where I acknowledged to myself that what I had believed wasn’t true. In getting there, I spoke with my pastor about my doubts, and some of the specific arguments. His reply?

“Those evolutionists lie!”

That’s all. Really? All of them? By that point, I wasn’t really drinking the kool-aid anymore, and it wasn’t hard to go from, “All they’ve told me about evolution is wrong”, to “All they’ve told me is wrong.” I started finding deconversion stories on the web. I read Losing Faith in Faith, by Dan Barker. I told my wife I didn’t believe anymore. But that’s a story for another time.

the remission of the entire temporal punishment due to sin so that no further expiation is required in Purgatory.

Purgatory, eh? There’s a fun concept! So you’ve done all you can during your life to serve your God, and say, for the sake of argument, that you die after a long debilitating illness. Now you can look forward to eternity in heaven! Not so fast, chum! You weren’t quite pious enough, so you get to stew for a bit first.

“Why are we bringing it back?” asked Bishop Nicholas A. DiMarzio of Brooklyn, who has embraced the move. “Because there is sin in the world.”

The happy racket of selling them was banned back in 1567, after that embarrassing incident in Germany.  Still, with the economy in the condition it’s in, we can only wonder if they’re considering reinstating the practice.  The monk Tetzel, who was trying to raise money to build St. Peter’s Basilica, came up with a catchy rhyme to go along with it:

As soon as the gold in the casket rings
The rescued soul to heaven springs

You know, it’s a little dated, but with some reworking, an upbeat tune to go with it, and maybe a celebrity endorsement, they just might be able to launch a killer marketing campaign.

And now… without further delay… the winning definition of “saddleback”… by a gaping margin… definition number 5: “Saddlebacking: the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities.” After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.

Here’s why this definition is perfect: Saddlebacking, like barebacking, involves one person riding up on another’s backside. But in this case, it’s not the bare-naked cock-in-ass that’s the most important feature of the ride, but the fact that the person being ridden has been saddled—thanks to the efforts of the Rick Warrens of this world—with religious hang-ups and serious misconceptions about sex. Like the barebacker who casually tosses away his health—or his partner’s health—because he believes, quite erroneously, that “risky = sexy,” the saddlebacker offers up her ass because she believes, quite erroneously, that she can get fucked in the ass—vigorously, religiously—and still be considered a virgin on her wedding night.

Isn’t that wonderful? Apparently this is a fairly common phenomenon. To learn more, look at the website Dan’s set up to help spread the definition of saddlebacking.