Saddlebacking.

So, this blog is ostensibly about the horrors of fundamentalist xianity, and my intense lack thereof. But I’ve been debating whether I should include other topics, so as not to dilute the wackiness those theists give us. So, when I saw Dan Savage’s latest column, I was thrilled that I wouldn’t have to make that decision in order to post this:

And now… without further delay… the winning definition of “saddleback”… by a gaping margin… definition number 5: “Saddlebacking: the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities.” After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.

Here’s why this definition is perfect: Saddlebacking, like barebacking, involves one person riding up on another’s backside. But in this case, it’s not the bare-naked cock-in-ass that’s the most important feature of the ride, but the fact that the person being ridden has been saddled—thanks to the efforts of the Rick Warrens of this world—with religious hang-ups and serious misconceptions about sex. Like the barebacker who casually tosses away his health—or his partner’s health—because he believes, quite erroneously, that “risky = sexy,” the saddlebacker offers up her ass because she believes, quite erroneously, that she can get fucked in the ass—vigorously, religiously—and still be considered a virgin on her wedding night.

Isn’t that wonderful? Apparently this is a fairly common phenomenon. To learn more, look at the website Dan’s set up to help spread the definition of saddlebacking.